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This article “Being Truly Free: Making time to be authentically me” is the second in a series of three (Part 1 here | Part 3 here), referencing my work from the bonus chapter “Das 1×1 des Auswanderns” (Translation: Emigrating 101) in the book “Bring den Müll raus: Radikal ausmisten in neun Schritten” (Translation: Take out the trash: Radical junking out in 9 steps) by Dr. Z. Whilst writing that chapter, and visiting Japan’s cherry blossom season, I got into a full-on write/philosophise flow. This resulted in around 165 pages, which weren’t suited to the purpose of the bonus chapter. From this stream of consciousness emerged the forenamed article in three parts, tackling the principle question of what it means to be truly free.
I’m frequently asked this question, given many see my lifestyle as the epitome of freedom – no fixed abode, travelling the world with carry-on luggage only for the last 5+ years. Friends, clients and acquaintances alike all envy the idea of travelling whenever and wherever, and consider that real freedom. However, being truly free constitutes so much more than just being able to go anywhere at any time. Having no fixed abode and freedom to travel are just facets thereof. In this series, I’ll share deeper insights and present what the hallmarks of true philosophical freedom are, and how to achieve it.
In Part 2 of “Being Truly Free: Making time to be authentically me” discover:
- Finding peace as the house burns around you – in spite of chaos and uncertainty. #danceintheflames
- Security is an illusion – it’s all chance and possibility. #thematrix
- Letting go of fear and stress – true freedom starts from within. #peaceinyoursoul
- Dancing in the fire of life – laughing as a weapon against difficulties. #legerity
- Death is the giver of life – transience provides meaning. #longlivedeath
- Freedom for what, not from what – real freedom taking responsibility. #selfefficacy
- Overcoming self-sabotage and blockages – what they say about you. #growth
- Are you a junkie? – secondary illness & victim’s perspective. #payattention
- Your greatest battle is within – learn how to understand this. #tradeoff
- On the blank page that is your life, what are you painting? – is it real or fake? #selfreflection
Links to each part in the series “Being Truly Free: Making time to be authentically me”:
- Part 1: https://amor-fati.world/en/being-truly-free-making-time-to-be-authentically-me-part-1/
- Part 2: https://amor-fati.world/en/being-truly-free-making-time-to-be-authentically-me-part-2/
- Part 3: https://amor-fati.world/en/being-truly-free-making-time-to-be-authentically-me-part-3/
Part 2 – Let’s Go!
FINDING PEACE AS THE HOUSE BURNS DOWN…
We are thrown into this life, and inevitably forced to learn how to live with our individual existence and the transience of life, with all of the contradictions and insecurities that come hand in hand with this – and, ideally, being ‘true’ to ourselves. No-one can escape the universal laws of nature – not now – not ever. Und dabei wird niemand den universellen Naturgesetzmäßigkeiten je entkommen – nicht jetzt – nicht irgendwann – gar nicht: Kaboom, Chaos, Gravity, Cosmos, Sun, E=MC², Adieu.You should take this probably most philosophical of all laws of nature/life to heart: Security is the single greatest illusion, there are no guarantees – just chance and possibility. Realise that extinction is the norm – survival the exception. What do I mean by that?
We’re all sitting in a metaphorical house, we call ‘life’, which is ablaze. Most people are in a state of panic trying to put it out, in order to put an end to the perceived danger once and for all. To escape the primal fear of non-existence and nothingness, people stress, suffer, overcompensate, avoid and remain in denial, in all aspects of their lives. Many even sacrifice their true selves entirely, until they completely destroy themselves. Oh, the irony!
You have to realise that, from an existentially philosophical and therapeautic point of view, the fire was never meant to be extinguished. I repeat: The fire was never meant to be put out! Not matter how hard you try, you get no guarantees – no safety net. Forget the fear, the stress, the hustle, the panicking, as you finally grasp the concept: All of our houses will continue to burn, regardless of how much we protest, resist, bitch and moan, overcompensate and wish for a metaphorical fire extinguisher. So, don’t you think it’s time to find a way to make peace with this? Or more precisely: How about learning to dance amidst the fire, and even dance with the flames? And don’t forget to smile while you’re at it!
“And when I saw my devil, I found him serious, thorough, profound, solemn: it was the Spirit of Gravity – through him all things fall. Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter. Come, let us kill the Spirit of Gravity! I have learned to walk: ever since, I let myself run. I have learned to fly: ever since, I do not want to be pushed before moving along. Now I am light, now I fly, now I see myself beneath myself, now a god dances through me.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
DEATH IS THE GIVER OF LIFE…
Right now, you’re not reading a book on existential therapy, nor one about fear. So, won’t elaborate too much on this, even though I’m itching to, since the subjects of authenticity, fear, death and time are inextricably linked to attaining ‘real freedom’.
Yet, the questions beckon: If the house is just going to keep burning anyway, and all hope of eternal existence, immortality and absolute security is pointless, then why should I bother doing anything at all? Isn’t it all hopeless? I’m just going to inevitably die, death is coming to rob me of everything!“
“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.” ~Tyler Durden
The response to the question of why, with such a dismal prognosis on life, we should bother, is this:
It is the best and only chance for a truly free and easy life – Mother Nature and life don’t ask – why should you. As Dr. Z once said, they simply follow evolutionary norms: they mutate, iterate, emerge, select and reward authenticity – a life in accordance with (their own) nature. It’s potent, sexy and attractive; everything else that is meant for you will find you. Should you decide that life is worth being lived, and you want a fulfilling, free and easy life, then you’re inherently going to have to play the game, following all of its evolutionary and natural rules. Otherwise you’ll come up short, be sent packing, and life will take you out of the equation – it’s your choice. #naturerules #playthegame
“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest – whether the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories – comes afterward. These are games; one must first answer. And if it is true, as Nietzsche maintains, that a philosopher, to be deserving of respect, must preach by example, you can appreciate the importance of that reply, for it will precede the definitive act.” ~Albert Camus
To the second part, the thieving death:
So you really believe that death steals everything from us?
“Though the physicality of death destroys us, the idea of death saves us.” ~Irvin D. Yalom
Death is what actually gives value to everything we regard as meaningful in life. The transience of life and therefore the advancement of time are, in fact, necessary, in order for a fulfilling, authentic and free life to mean anything at all. Without death and time, everything would be completely irrelevant, monotonous and meaningless. You’d never have to make any decisions, and put everything off indefinitely – til the cows come home! There would be no sense of urgency, nothing would move you more, be more special, hold more meaning or form a deep connection with you. The kiss you give your loved one tonight is all the more significant and meaningful, because we all know, deep down inside: Time is real freedom – the most valuable thing we possess – and should never be taken for granted! #longlivedeath
“Death is not the enemy of life, but the means by which the meaning of life is made manifest.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Nature deserves the ‘mother’ of all Nobel Prizes, for the genius act of separating the sexes in combination with the transience of time, as life is driven by the preservation of the species. No one knows exactly how long they’ve got – how many grains of sand remain in the hour glass of life. Yet, we all know, we can’t turn the hourglass again, once it’s run through – so make the most of it! All humans share this fate, regardless of where or what circumstances, on this beautiful, absurd, 100,000+ kmph spinning sphere, they are born into. #tiktaktiktak
Caution: Don’t waste time stressing, but rather recognise, that death, which is essentially the same as the passing time, is not a thieving, destructive force – it’s a generously giving one. Do you realise what potential, possibility and freedom death provides you? Dear Reader, why would you then not use this gift, to craft the most authentic, free and easy life possible?
“What have you got to lose they won’t be lost eventually anyway?
Nothing – so nothing’s stopping you from risking everything, to achieve the best possible life.” ~Dr. Christian Zippel
There was something – oh yes: Fears and blockages. Those pesky spoilsports! Someone, who is free from fears and blockages, has the most ideal prerequisites for being able to live an authentic, free and fulfilling life: A harmonious and peaceful existence, in which to live, thrive and eventually die… laughing!
FREEDOM FOR WHAT, NOT FROM WHAT…
However, from a philosophical point of view, a real and free life can only begin when you’re not just wanting to be ‘free from’ something, but rather already ‘free for’ something. Have you already thought about what you’ll do with all the freedom and ease you’ll gain from junking out your life and being true to yourself? (See books for inspiration: Books) Even know why you should bother? Yes, no, maybe…
Get to it! From an existential therapy viewpoint, freedom goes hand-in-hand with self-responsibility. Ironically, most people are afraid of freedom, especially too much of it. Not simply because it forces them to take more responsibility for themselves, but also because freedom appears ‘chaotic’ and ‘uncertain’, with no external rules or parametres, and suddenly anything is ‘allowed’. This is why many speak of the ‘dream of freedom’, but fundamentally deep down don’t really want it – born of uncertainty and fear – the fear of chaos and self-responsibility.
“Free from what? What does Zarathustra care about that? But your eye should clearly tell me: free for what?” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
By far most people tend to spend their lives circling the idea of being ‘free from’ things. Consistently, it’s about freeing oneself, for example, from a whole load of energy-sucking work, recurring chronic illness, or stressful deadlines. Most of today’s first-world problems, however, are homegrown. The show playing out on a continuous loop: Fear and blockages manifesting as problems, drama and self-sabotage. And the protagonist: humankind, because we just love to suffer! Are you guilty of this too?
I ASKED IF YOU’RE A JUNKIE…
In short, creating problems, blockages and drama is highly addictive. The afflicted often achieves a hidden gain or pursues an underlying, higher goal (finality), which outweighs the perceived suffering of symptoms. Attention, appreciation, recognition and/or security, for example, are often far more important than, let’s say, finally looking for a new job that actually challenges you and makes you happy, if you have to sacrifice your salary, that holiday or the status you’re accustomed to.
In addition, there are millions of people currently stuck in relationships, which should have ended years ago. Yet, despite this, they stay together, be it out of habit, security, attention or whatever else they tell themselves. The fear of loneliness and ‘for the children’ play an especially huge role in the decision to remain in a lost-cause relationship – or even for tax purposes.
Other people complain of extreme stress and pressure at work, yet find it impossible to work less, as through their job, they draw, for example, self-worth, identity, and the feeling of being ‘needed’ (something many mothers also do). Maintaining this can feel more important than finally putting your feet up and relaxing, even with millions in the bank.
Self-sabotage, avoidance, denial or overcompensating are incredible subconscious ways of creating/causing problems, drama and blockages, which command attention, appreciation, recognition and/or perceived security. Important: Moreover, this also provide an additional layer of ‘protection’, against deeper underlying fears. #nicetry
Succinctly put: Like a child, opting to cover itself in shit, so it has something to cry about, dirty and stinking, and thereby having a legit reason to scream for its mother, the ultimate aim is to feel accepted and valued, secure, warm and loved. So, instead of just playing freely and easily, that’s how one becomes addicted to shit! #timetogrowup
In psychotherapy, this mechanism is known as ‘secondary gain’ – a powerful phenomenon. It serves to trap the individual within their symptoms, problems, blockages, fears and resulting perceived suffering. Furthermore, it retains focus on the pathology, reinforcing the philosophical state of being ‘free from’ – leaving the individual caught in a vicious circle. Bravo!
Only those who overcome this secondary gain, abandon the victim’s perspective, finally grow up, take responsibility for themselves and do the work, in learning that self-worth, love and a sense of security come from within, will be able to experience the joy of being ‘free for’.
Note well, once and for all: Do everything in your power to give up the victim’s perspective and secondary gain addiction. Clinging to victimhood and secondary gain always results in the shackles of dependency and suffering!
YOUR GREATEST BATTLE IS WITHIN…
In this regard, many of my clients share that it’s often difficult for them to make decisions, in their daily lives, establish lasting change, get rid of stuff, or finally live the life they wish for themselves. “I just can’t. I’d love to. I feel powerless – helpless,” they say.
From a depth psychology perspective, we know that every individual possesses various subpersonalities. These inner states govern our behaviour across different situations. At times, they’re allies, at others, internal critics. By identifying these inner states, we can achieve greater agency and live higher levels of authenticity.
Of course, different subpersonalities can battle each other, as they often can be driven by diverse and opposing aims. One state can seek, for example, security, belonging and attention, while another longs for freedom, adventure and individuality. If one succeeds, this often means failure for the other – textbook conflict of goals and values. This is a reason many people feel so internally torn, plagued by hopelessness, dominated by uncertainty, and constantly confronted by deep fears and anxiety, spawned by the repressed state. The consequence: Doubt, suffering, lethargy and perpetual tail chasing. Under such circumstances, how can peace of mind, contentment and fulfilment ever be achieved? #torn
Take note: Your greatest battle is the one within yourself. Learn to understand why it persists. Work on accepting, understanding and integrating these opposing inner states, to align them with your true essence. This is the only way to set the fundamental bedrock for a stable, free and authentic life.
A ‘free for’ life resembles more of a life theme, vision and line of questioning: “Who am I, what does my authentic life look like, and how can I positively contribute to the world with it?” It tackles the deeper motivation behind the superficial ‘free from’ – why it’s worth investing energy into liberation, self-discovery and development. Provocatively and philosophically speaking: What would you die for?
One final, playful, provocative thought experiment:
If I handed you a blank sheet of paper and a pen, and told you to map out your ‘free for’ life, without any guidelines, rules or specifications, would you even know where to start? What would you sketch out? And would it really be authentic to you? Or would you defile that virgin page with more of the same soulless bullshit spouted by the ‘sheeple’ masses, and perpetuated as ‘normal’ and ‘correct’ at every available opportunity?
If you envisage your life up to now as a completed picture book, would you be proud to talk about it and show it to your loved ones? Or would you feel ashamed? What would your children learn from it about you and your life? Perhaps, it would be easier to blame the pen for a poorly sketched representation? As the saying goes: A bad workman always blames his tools… #dontoverthinkit
AUTHOR: Sascha
For over six years, I’ve been living remotely, bound to no fixed abode. During the last 18 years, I’ve been supporting others in their personal development journeys; breaking down barriers and unleashing their potential. My work is based on the philosophy of AMOR FATI: radically honest, pragmatic, meticulous. As co-author and designer, I’ve collaborated on several books with Dr. Z, including “Bring den Müll raus” (‘Take out the trash’) and “Trust Chaos”.
